How families can help addicted players

Shortly

Family care is effective when it:

1. protects security (sleep, money, borders), 2. supports recovery plan (timeouts, blocks, limits, appointments), 3. protects the loved ones themselves (own borders, mode, support).

This material contains specific steps, checklists and scripts to translate the alarm into actions.

1) What's important for a family to know from day one

Game addiction is behavioral: it is fueled by triggers, emotions, a quick reward cycle.

"Willpower" without structure rarely helps. We need barriers, pauses, support.

Family help is not about controlling every minute and not "closing all debts," but setting up a system where it is easier for a person to stick to the plan and for you to stay calm.

2) Family support principles

Good directness: to speak honestly, without insults and threats.

Responsibility ≠ salvation: to help fulfill the plan, but not to solve everything for the person.

Boundaries first: You don't have to endure night sessions, stealth and financial risk.

Small steps → stability: no "all at once."

3) Preparation for conversation (15-30 minutes)

Choose a quiet time and a neutral place, no rush or alcohol.

Formulate a goal: "agree on a pause and security measures for 30 days."

Prepare a list of specific steps (see below) and requests to the person.

Decide what you are ready for and what you are not ready for (borders).

4) "No charges" conversation script (2-3 minutes)

💡 "I notice that the game has taken up a lot of space in our lives: night mode, tension, money. I'm scared and hurt and I want it to be safer for both of us. I propose a plan for 30 days: today - time out, blockers and night silence; limits in the bank and deletion of saved cards; once a week - a short reconciliation. I am ready to support, but not to close debts. Do you agree to try this plan?"

If the person agrees: go to the specifics and write down the contract.

If resisting: Offer an "experiment" for 14 days with a minimum set of measures.

If escalates: pause 20 minutes and return to conversations during the day.

5) Minimum set of safety measures (family "circuit")

1. Access and time

Night silence 23: 00-08: 00 on devices.

Blockers (Freedom/Cold Turkey/LeechBlock) and whitelist sites.

Reality check every 25-30 minutes for any "sticky" activity.

2. Money

Separate "entertainment" card without overdraft; write-off limit/day.

Notifications of any transactions.

Removal of "one-click replenishment" and saved cards.

3. Operator limits

Time and loss limit; stop-win; increase delay 24-168 hours.

In case of repeated breakdowns - a time-out of 24-72 hours or self-exclusion (6-12 months).

4. Transparency

Weekly 15-minute reconciliation: "deposits = 0? sleep? following the plan? ».

Diary "STOP-5" (short records of triggers and substitutions).

6) Family boundaries: what can and should be said

Permissive (supports union):

"I'm willing to discuss steps and help hold the plan."
"I need silence at night - I go to bed at 11pm."
'I'm not closing debts but I'll help make a payment plan.'

Restrictive (protects you):

"I will not hide from myself and those close to me the real scale of the problem."
"I don't give money to play and I don't take credits "for you.""
"If the rules are violated, we strengthen barriers or take a pause in communication until a plan is agreed."

7) Family financial security

Inventory - Together, write down the current debts, interest, payment dates.

Priorities: housing, food, mandatory payments - first of all; entertainment - 0 before stabilization.

Two signatures: any large expenses - only by agreement.

Documentation: record agreements and payment steps in writing (1 page).

Phrase-frame:

💡 "I help you keep the plan and protect the family. I don't provide money for the game - this is our common border of security."

8) How to respond to "hot" emotions and cravings

Anger/shame/escalation: "I hear it's hard for you. Let's pause for 20 minutes and go back to the steps."

Momentum to "catch up": "Decisions are tomorrow. Now we turn on the timeout for 48 hours and go for a walk."

Euphoria after winning: "We have stop-win. Reached - close, remove the part and rest."

9) If a failure occurs: "BREAKDOWN" protocol (5 steps)

1. Signal - a person honestly reports: what, when, how much.

2. Stop - immediately timeout 24-72 hours, blocks, night silence.

3. Resources - water, food, sleep; emotional support without questioning.

4. The conclusion is one lesson: which trigger we missed, which barrier we strengthen.

5. Updating the Contour - we adjust the limits/rules, assign reconciliation.

Player script:

💡 "Broke: ___ in ___ time. Enabled 48 hour timeout, removed cards. Lesson: missed [trigger]. Need support: ask me tomorrow if I'm holding a plan.'

Close script:

💡 "Thank you for your honesty. Let's make sure: timeout is on, today is sleep and water. Tomorrow - 10 minutes analysis and strengthening of barriers."

10) Children about the problem - simple and safe

Without the details of the sums: "Games took us too long, we learn to manage it."

Framework: "There are rules of silence and restriction - we follow them."

Open door: "If something worries you - say. Adults solve adult problems."

11) 14-day plan for family

Days 1-3 - Stabilization

Conversation, family boundaries, night silence, blockers, card removal.

Operator limits (time/loss/stop-win, delay for increases).

Short "family memo" (1 page) signed by both sides.

Days 4-7 - Clarity and Rhythm

Weekly reconciliation (15 minutes).

The player's diary is "STOP-5," the partner of responsibility is with a loved one.

Appointment for consultation/group (if possible).

Days 8-14 - Reinforcement and Adaptation

Remove trigger content (streams/fluffs).

Trial "screen-free evening" 2 times/week.

Revising the memo: what works, what strengthens.

12) Plan for 30 days (fixation)

Week 1: safety and baseline limits; pauses and sleep.

Week 2: Regular reconciliations; first "wins" (deposits = 0, timing).

Week 3: work with triggers and emotions (breathing, "STOP-90"), social replacements.

Week 4: revision of rules, extension of successful measures for another month.

13) Checklists for the family

Daily

Night silence observed
No deposits/play at night
There was at least one "substitute" activity (walking/socializing/sleeping)

Once a week (15 minutes)

Reconciliation: deposits = 0/limits met/sleep ≥7 h
Updated "family memo" if needed
Noted progress and one area of improvement

Red flags (need hard pause/boost)

Stealth, aggression, attempts to lift limits
Night sessions/alcohol
Rising debts/requests to borrow "close the hole"

14) Self-care for loved ones (it's not selfish)

Sleep, food, movement are a priority.

Personal "no-screen" windows and guilt-free rest.

Support: Friend/group/consultation for you.

The right to say no if you are asked for actions that violate your boundaries or the safety of your family.

15) Frequent mistakes and how to avoid them

To close all debts instead of a → plan forms a "pillow" for repetitions.

Interrogations and surveillance → undermine trust; replace with short and regular reconciliations.

The demand "promise and hold on" without barriers → emotions stronger than promises; install the system.

Talk at night/in a fever → postpone for a day, with a timer.

Forget about yourself → an empty reserve for a loved one = high risk of conflict and disruption.

16) When external help is needed

Breakdowns ≥2 once a week, secrecy, growing debts.

Conflicts escalate, threats or violence appear - your safety is a priority.

Symptoms of anxiety/depression/insomnia in any family member.

Any thoughts of self-harm - contact emergency services/crisis specialists in your country urgently.

Family can be a powerful factor in recovery if it relies on clear boundaries, simple safety rules and regular reconciliations rather than shouting and ultimatums. Translate the alarm into concrete actions: night silence, blocks and limits, "family memo," a plan for 14-30 days and your own support for loved ones. This will create conditions in which it is easier for the addict to stay the course and for the family to remain calm and dignified.