How to support friends suffering from ludomania

Shortly

The support of a friend is based on three principles: good directness, clear boundaries and consistent small steps. Your task is to be there, helping to turn on the self-control system (pauses, blocks, limits, transparency), and not become a "rescuer" who takes everything on himself.

1) What is important to remember the "helper" friend

Ludomania is a behavioral addiction: it is influenced by triggers, emotions and the "fast" reward cycle.

Talk and "promise" without barriers work badly. Technical measures and pause rituals are needed.

You are responsible for your health and safety. Support ≠ sacrifice.

2) How to start a conversation (scripts for 60-90 seconds)

The formula "NNPP": observation → need → plan → request.

💡 "Listen, I noticed that you're playing more and more, missing sleep and worrying about money. I'm worried and I want you to be (safe). Let's try a 14-day plan: operator timeout, phone blocker, "night silence" and a short weekly reconciliation. I'm there - I can help turn it all on today. OK?"

If you hear "everything is under control":

💡 "Class, let's check: a week without night sessions and deposits. If it doesn't work, let's go back to blocks and timeout."

If anger/denial:

💡 "I'm not blaming, I'm for your safety. Let's pause for 20 minutes and come back in the afternoon when it's calmer."

3) How to help daily - without "supervision"

Offer specific help rather than overall control: "Let's set up a 48-hour timeout" instead of "stop playing."

Agree on a "checkpoint" once a day: do you get a message from a friend: time/mood/deposits = 0? (without bid details).

Plan alternatives: walking, sports, meeting, cinema - when it usually "pulls."

Say "I-messages": "It matters to me... I worry..." instead of "You again"....

4) Friend boundaries: dos and don'ts

Can/should

Maintain the plan, remind of pauses/limits.

Agree to short daily/weekly reconciliations.

Refuse "money to close holes."

Offer safe alternatives and shared leisure.

Not/not worth it

Give money to play or cover debts without a restructuring plan.

Follow, read correspondence, break privacy.

Conduct night "analysis" in a fever.

Promise something you can't stand (24/7 availability).

Phrases borders

💡 "I am ready to help you with the plan, but I do not give money for the game."
"After 10:30 p.m., I'm offline; call in the morning."
"If limits are violated, we strengthen barriers or take a pause in communication until the plan is revised."

5) Mini set of security measures (which you can help include)

1. Access and time: blocker (Freedom/Cold Turkey/LeechBlock), "night silence" 23: 00-08: 00, reality-check every 25-30 minutes.

2. Operator limits: time and loss + stop-win, increase delay 24-168 hours.

3. Finance: removal of "one-click replenishment," a separate card without overdraft, notifications on transactions.

4. Transparency: short message "deposits = 0/sleep ≥7 h/mood from 0 to 10."

6) Red flags (react immediately)

Night sessions, cancellation of "night silence," attempts to urgently raise limits.

Stealth, aggression, requests to "borrow to close the hole."

Insomnia, panic, talk of hopelessness.

Action: suggest a pause of 24-72 h, help turn on the blocks, schedule an appointment/call for tomorrow. If thoughts of self-harm are heard - contact your local emergency services/crisis help line immediately.

7) If there was a breakdown: "RIP" protocol for friends

1. We listen to facts without interrogation: "what/when/how much."

2. We stop the cycle: time out 24-72 hours, "night silence," water/food/sleep.

3. Resource: short walk, breathing 4-2-6 × 6 cycles.

4. There is only one conclusion: which trigger was missed, which barrier to strengthen.

5. Update Contour: limits, blocks, transparency; agree on the next check.

Support script

💡 "Thank you for saying. Let's turn on the timeout for 48 hours, delete the saved cards and take 10 minutes. Tomorrow we will discuss which barrier we will strengthen."

8) 14-day "friend near" plan

Days 1-3 - Stabilization

Meeting/call, conversation according to the NNPP formula.

Turn on: blocker, night silence, operator limits, delete "1 click."

We agree on a daily short report (time/deposits = 0/mood).

Days 4-7 - Rhythm and Alternatives

Two joint "screen-free" evenings.

We help to make a list of quick replacements (walk, shower, sports, audiobook).

We support the rule "decisions - tomorrow" (no increases in limits on an active day).

Days 8-14 - Adjustment and consolidation

Once a week 15 minutes: what worked/what to add.

Remove trigger content (streams/fluffs).

In case of repeated breakdowns, we discuss self-exclusion for 6-12 months and/or consultation with a specialist/group.

9) 30 day plan "stability loop"

Week 1: safety and visibility (blocks, limits, reports).

Week 2: Alternatives and Sleep (2 Screen-Free Evenings, Sleep Mode).

Week 3: work with triggers (diary "STOP-5," the rule of "day").

Week 4: revision and extension of measures for another month.

10) What to say when "pulling right now" (finished phrases)

About a friend:

💡 "Let's pause for 30 minutes: breathing, water, a short walk. The decisions are tomorrow."

After winning:

💡 "Reached stop-win - close. We take out the part and rest."

In FOMO:

💡 "There will be many chances, your bankroll is one. Keep it today."

11) Checklist for friends

Every day

Had contact: short message from a friend (time/deposits = 0/mood)
You didn't give money "to close the hole"
Alternative proposed/organized (10-30 minutes)

Once a week (15 minutes)

Discussed what worked and what to strengthen
Reminded of the increase delay (24-168 hours)
Confirmed "night silence" and blocks

Own security

You have personal boundaries on time and finances
There is a resource: sleep/nutrition/movement/rest
Have your own person or group where you reprimand

12) Frequent mistakes and how to avoid them

"Rescue" (close debts, solve everything for a friend). → Support the plan and transparency, not finance the problem.

Toxic shame/insults. → Kills trust; go back to steps and safety.

Nightly "analysis" and promises "I am always in touch." → Lead to burnout; assign day windows.

Hang on theories/blame. → Always translate into action "today": timeout, blocks, limits, sleep, water.

13) When professional help is needed

Breakdowns ≥2 once a week, secrecy, growing debts.

Conflicts are growing, threats or violence appear - your safety is a priority.

Signs of depression/panic/insomnia in a friend.

Any thoughts of self-harm - contact emergency services/crisis specialists in your country urgently.

Suitable: therapist (CBT/motivational interviewing), mutual assistance groups, debt counselor.

The best friend is the team and boundaries: honest conversation, simple security measures, regular short reconciliations and joint alternatives instead of "another session." Support the plan, take care of yourself and remember: small sequential steps create big changes.