How to deal with losses without shame and anxiety

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Losing is part of the variance, not a sentence. The main task of the player is to keep a clear head, protect the budget and relationships, without falling into shame ("I am bad") and anxiety ("everything is gone"). Below is a compact system that can be applied immediately after a complex session.

1) Why shame and anxiety add to the damage

Shame beats identity: "something is wrong with me" → secrecy, loneliness, the risk of "dogons."

Anxiety inflates the catastrophe: the brain requires immediate "correction" → impulse deposit.

The optimal goal after losing is regulation (calm the body/mind), reporting (understand what happened), correction (improve the process), and not instant "beating."

2) Protocol "STOP-BREATHE-EVALUATE-SOLVE" (5-7 minutes)

1. Stop. Close the game/tabs. The phone is in airplane mode for 10 minutes.

2. Breathe (Box 4-4-4-4 × 8 cycles). Inhale 4 - pause 4 - exhale 4 - pause 4.

3. Appreciate. On a scale of 0-10, mark: anger, shame, anxiety, the impulse to "return." If any ≥6, the game is prohibited for the next 24 hours.

4. Decide. One action from the list: walk 15 minutes, water/snack, shower, 10 squats, short buddy call.

3) Cognitive reboot: 5 phrases against shame/panic

"Losing = event, not tag on me."

"My control zone is process: bets, time, stop rules."
"Dispersion doesn't like promises but obeys distance."
"I can lose with dignity: according to plan, without dogons and debts."
"Stop now = protect future bankroll and relationships."

4) Post-session parsing ritual (3-5 minutes, one page)

Record pattern (6 lines):

1. Purpose and rules of the session (rate ≤1% BR, stop loss/wine).

2. Fact: result (+/-), duration, whether played according to plan.

3. Before/after emotions (0-10).

4. Where did you fall? (timer ignore, catch-up, rush)

5. One lesson one correction → what I change in the rules.

6. Auspicious action now (walk/water/sleep/talk).

💡 Important: Avoid self-flagellation. Parsing is process engineering, not court.

5) Algorithm "antidogon"

If: stop loss or ≥6/10 emotions worked, then: "cool-off" at least 24-72 hours, no new deposits, the "Game" card is blocked or limit = 0.

Actions on pause: sleep 7-8 hours, walks, minimum stimuli, 2 ×/day respiratory cycles.

6) Self-compassion instead of shame (3 minutes)

Short practice: repeat on exhalation -

💡 "Let me be attentive. Let me stop. Error is part of learning. I choose to protect myself now"

This reduces the level of internal aggression and prevents "dogon" as an attempt to "correct oneself with a bet."

7) Here-and-now anxiety reduction tools

Body: warm shower, stretching 5 minutes, slow walking.

Breathing: 10 cycles of 4-4-6 (exhalation is slightly longer).

Focus: Technique 5-4-3-2-1 (name 5 items around... up to 1 sensation).

Sleep: if late - turn off the screens, headphones with white noise/rain for 20 minutes.

8) Financial hygiene after losing

Do not touch "Mandatory," "Reserve," "Goals." The game is only from "Discretion."

We do not make compensation. The winnings in the future are not assigned a "return" of this particular minus.

In the coming week, the rate is reduced (for example, from 1.5% to 0.7% BR), the duration of the session is 30%.

9) Communication with loved ones: how to speak honestly and calmly

Script (30 seconds):

💡 "I had a bad session. I stopped as planned/interrupted for 72 hours. I do the analysis and reduce the limits for a week. If you notice that I'm nervous - remind me of the pause, please."
Key: facts, responsibility, action plan - no excuses or stealth.

10) Weekly recovery plan

Day 1-2: cool-off 72 hours, sleep mode, water, 2 breathing ×/day, short walk.

Day 3: analysis of the record, reduction of the rate and time, inclusion of hard limits.

Day 4-5: Practice "STOP" + Box-breathing offside (2 times each).

Day 6: one short "green" session only according to the rules (if emotions ≤3/10).

Day 7: A Week's Review: What Worked, What to Change in the Rules.

11) Frequent cognitive traps after losing - and countermeasures

"I will fight back and forget." Countermeasure: "deferred decision" for 24 hours + recording real damage during dogon in the past times.

"I'm a weak/loser." Countermeasure: transfer to the skill plane ("I need to strengthen the fuses").

"It's almost gone - a little more." Countermeasures: variance reminder and fixed time limit.

12) Healthy recovery metrics (celebrate 1 times a week)

% of sessions without stop loss violation.

Number of cool-offs and their duration.

The proportion of sessions with emotions ≤3/10 at the entrance.

Reaction time: seconds from the occurrence of traction to the use of technology.

Unscheduled deposits: target - 0.

Bet stability: the variance of the bet size in a narrow corridor.

13) Mini check list for wallet/desktop

Applied "STOP-BREATHE-EVALUATE-SOLVE" (5 minutes).
Made a journal entry (6 lines).
No Dogon/Unscheduled Deposits.
Rate ≤1% BR, timer 20-25 min.
If emotions ≥6/10 - pause 24-72 hours.

You don't have to "fix" a loss - you have a responsibility to keep the system going. Shame and anxiety are reduced when there is a clear protocol: stopping, breathing, short parsing, softness to yourself, reduced risk and clear boundaries. The game will remain a leisure only where the rules are stronger than emotions.